I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
