Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
