Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
