My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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