Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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