why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
