i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
