is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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