he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My ass is underappreciated
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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