haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
