looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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