I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
