i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
