ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
