grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
