there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
