Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
