Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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