Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
