nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
do herpes really smell.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
