2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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