i would punch a child for taco bell
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The air taste purple.
Randomize
