wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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