we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
