I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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