You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
