so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My vagina just recognized that song.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
