The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
