he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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