is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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