Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
