i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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