Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
do nipples grow back?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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