Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
