Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
