i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
