New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
