check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
