i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
