Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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