The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
