Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
love makes seman taste better
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
