Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Boobs speak an international language.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
