Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
