yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
