oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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