I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got inside last night via doggy door
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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