This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
