I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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