nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize